Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Conversational Symbolism: The Three Loves of Your Life

So I have mostly been thinking all day long of a conversation I had maybe 3 or 4 years ago with the best man from our wedding.  He is quite the interesting conversationalist and interesting person overall for that matter, and on this day in particular we were speaking of love, maybe in general, I’m not exactly sure of the details or what led to the conversation.  I do remember some of his description of the “saying” or how it is said to go, or however he put it.  He told me a tale that night that inspired a song I wrote called “3 Degrees”, which I will have to post the lyrics to here sometime, it’ll make more sense – maybe. 

Anyway, Best Man told me that in your life, you are to have 3 Loves, and I believe that he might have even described them to me but the details weren’t clearly remembered(ish) until I found this website that kind of went over it.  It is basically in line with what he explained to me, and I have been thinking of this again all day.  It’s a very interesting concept. 

Your first love or your puppy love, he told me, is the first.  The love that got away that you always have that feeling for is the second.  The third of course, the love of your life, I reckon he explained it to me.  I remember him telling me some details about his three.  In retrospect I wished I was journaling more or blogging at the time, it was a very interesting conversation, but I guess I wrote a song because of it at least. 

Your first love is the puppy love, the first one you usually date in high school and is said not to last that long.  I guess I spent too many years of my life on my first love and gave him the benefit of the doubt too many times? 7 years is a long time for puppy love, but he was the first love of my life. 

Your Ultimate Love is described basically as the one who got away.  I reckon the one that is probably in the end better to fantasize and ponder about than actually ever get to experience so as not to taint and poison and destroy its tender perfectness?  Anyway, that’s how I’d describe it, maybe. 

The Love of Your Life is referred to as the one.  Not Keanu Reeves, but the one that got you at your best and was able to iron out all of the messy stuff and keep you for your good parts, stitching the seams back together.  The one that settled you down.  The one that made you feel whole(ish).  But, how can you be whole if there are 3 parts of you? 

I couldn’t imagine someone having the capacity to love tons of people with the same passion someone can love a few.  But then again, I am still astounded and enthralled by the love of motherhood and I find it hard to believe that your heart could love a second child at all like you love a first one, but mothers do it every day.  That love is split all of the time.  And ideally mothers are to love all of their babies the same but the hard truth is they don’t always do.  Sometimes it’s all out of whack and you are immensely into one.  Sometimes it’s more of an even split.  Maybe it’s just a crap shoot?  Maybe it’s a tender balance. 

It’s certainly an interesting concept and idea that Best Man brought to the table.  It makes you deconstruct and rethink if you have more than that, I guess.  I think perhaps after a little soul searching and living life, you come to terms with who your three are.  Symbolism is funny that way.  Holy shit, is anything real?  I’m not even going there!

I don’t know what other people reflect on.  These are just the things I ponder on my way through. 

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