How could I have been so foolish, so self-absorbed,
So lost I never saw the possibilities in your eyes, only the fear.
Were you too close to home to be real to me?
And I felt alone in this vying—solemnly trying to make you want me,
To need me, to feel me - I felt I couldn’t read your signals,
I felt I was getting stop signs, and yellow lights - slow down, wrong way. Turn around.
There was a time in my life when you were the only thing keeping me going,
Keeping me up and running—working for the next time, working my cunning.
I don’t even remember what I was thinking with all that I was doing.
I don’t think you even knew how much you really had me.
But I was ricocheting off of everyone,
And I was blind folded and gagged and bound.
But I will never get over the nuances of life and fate,
And never know why I didn’t come to a stop at your feet instead,
And why you weren’t the one to unbind me and set me free,
The one to ungag me and let me see.