The Journey, the Fall, and the Voice

Journey and Toto: 2023 Freedom Tour
Bryce Jordan Center
State College, PA
March 3, 2023

Recently, I had the pleasure of seeing Journey (and Toto, too!) in the 2023 Freedom Tour, which was also Journey's 50th Anniversary Tour. Never have I ever, so it was nice to be asked by my cousin if I wanted to attend with my mother, sisters, aunt and her; a girl’s night out, it was planned to be. It ended up being a high chance of a snowstorm that day, so my cousin was bummed about the timing, but what could we do other than wait and see what it would do. Part of the journey is not always being able to predict the weather or circumstances. It ended up not being an entire blizzard deal, but a winter event, nonetheless.

My mother drove my sister and I over at a crawl, and we made it on time but ended up waiting in the longest line I’ve experienced at the Bryce Jordan Center. Apparently, some gates were closed, so the lines wrapped all around the building and we waited in a windy onslaught that vacillated between sleet and rain that night. We got most of the sleet and missed the rain, that my cousin and aunt unfortunately had to wait through having gotten there before us. The sleet actually stung my face, and I was glad that I wore my hooded London Fog coat, but I had no gloves in my pockets and only found a pair of children’s socks where they should be. (Most mother’s purses and pockets have children’s socks in them, FYI.) I wasn’t prepared for it to be such an arduous journey to see Journey and Toto, but at least we weren’t caught in a twister or anything.

Toto had already started, and we were still waiting in line when my aunt texted us from our “peanut heaven” seats that awaited us. The line slowly inched as the sleet fell, my head bowed to shield me against the cold wind, giving me a view of shuffling feet and coat hems. “Why does anyone live here?” one woman lamented under her umbrella. “Because they’re born here!” my mother answered. We became a single unit, our bodies uniting in resistance against the weather, a shivering snaking form making slow articulations into the building. We discussed Steve Perry and why he stopped touring as we waited, wondering if the hip injury was the only reason. At one point a man in a garbage bag parka informed us that we didn’t need to wait in line, that there was another line, but he was wrong. The other line ultimately snaked similarly around and into the same gate, so we all hung tight. Another part of the journey is understanding that not everyone giving directions knows what they are talking about. How unhelpful. “This is why I don’t give [the college] money,” a man interjected. Valid point. Why reward subpar treatment? They seemed rather unprepared for the journeyers. It happens…so was I. Can one ever be fully prepared for the journey, though? Going in the doors, we found the ticket scanning to be finicky as well, adding to the delay. This particular Journey journey seemed almost slowed by The Universe itself and we missed part of Toto, but made it to our seats before they played “that song” as they called it. (In response to getting the tickets, I had previously said that I would pay $60 alone to see Africa performed live, so we luckily didn’t miss THAT song.) 

Directly upon stepping onto the nosebleed level your body sends out a warning: Danger! Unsafe incline! Alert! Something to do with your inner ear or balance center, perhaps? I immediately recalled being in this section for Elton John at the BJC years before as a teen, alone with my two younger sisters. I was so nervous with them; fearful they’d fall forward or something. Surely it happens, I thought back then. “I’m surprised people don’t fall here more often!” I said, as we took our seats. Little did I know at the time, but that was a little foreshadowing.

Toto was delightful, a blast from the past. I was swept back to the Night Tracks videos of my childhood. We texted my sister, who had to miss out unfortunately due to illness, sending her video snippets and our love. “Meet you all the way!” Our seats were such that we weren’t so much behind or ahead, but right in line with the stage, and above, on the right, or stage left, would that be? And we were so high up that it gave the illusion that we were directly above the band, and it almost felt like we shouldn’t be there, like we were somehow spies, looking down on the situation with a god’s eye view, instead of paid ticket holders enjoying a show. “I haven’t been this high at a concert in years!” my mother proclaimed, in one of the best quotes of the evening. I laughed to myself, and thought of how many times that same sentence had been uttered at concerts in an entirely different context.

And then, shortly after we were all told to stand up during "Rosanna", our attention was drawn to the left of us as a poor woman banged into our row of seats, having fallen from two rows behind us! She hit the back of the chair of a man sitting to our left. He said later that she was initially out for about 20 seconds or so after hitting her head. When she got up her face was bleeding. She assured people she was fine, but they ended up getting the paramedics and taking her to the hospital. What a drag of a journey for that woman, and I hope that she is okay. The dangers of mountain climbing are rock face and death. Thankfully, this woman only got the rock face. The Fall can leave you bloody and can certainly spoil your good time. Always watch your footing and never forget where you are. This section at the BJC has somewhat of an overzealous incline. It's like being in a realm where you can't trust your perceptions, the way it throws your balance off. “No standing!” we all yelled at each other afterward. 

There was a woman in front of my sister that kept standing up and dancing throughout the entire concert. In fact, that was her view for much of the show, and we were worried for this woman the entire time. While we loved her incredibly bouncy hair and enthusiasm, my sister's view with her in it is now burnt into our memory of Toto's Africa. She shared her video view with us after the show and now that's a funny memory. The woman seemed completely unaware of The Fall that had just occurred and was, thus, completely free of fear in her dancing, and it was a beautiful thing, however obscuring. We, on the other hand, decided to sit tight the entire show, lest The Fall come for us as well. I guess sometimes The Fall is part of The Journey. Nervously anticipating our ultimate decent, we put it to the back of our minds for the time being, for the legacy of The Voice was in the house.

The funny thing with Journey is how Steve Perry was not even with the band for its inception and was not their original vocalist, Gregg Rolie was. The band even added Robert Fleischman for a short time before Perry joined. Their lineup has changed a bit through the years, in general. Perry was also neither their last nor their longest vocalist, yet somehow he is absolutely the voice you think of when you think of Journey. They actually replaced that voice twice, Steve Augeri, who immediately replaced Perry when they went their separate ways, and then Arnel Pineda, who ultimately replaced the first Perry replacement. I reckon the players change quite a bit throughout the journey. 

Being dubbed The Voice by Jon Bon Jovi, Steve Perry is an iconic sound of the 80s. What is it with tiny people having behemoth voices? He’s a legend, and apparently, he quit and ended his personal journey with Journey after a hip injury that required surgery, though I’m sure it’s more nuanced than that, as most partings usually are. The whole replacement by Arnel Pineda is an interesting aspect, too, which bands often do and it isn't uncommon, per se, but not all bands choose new frontmen that sound so similar to other frontmen. This switch, in any case, is just as often received with mixed feelings by fans. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about it, but truth be told, if Steve Perry were the one touring with Journey, you would pick apart The Old Voice as much as The New Voice, because that’s what people tend to do. Everyone’s a critic. Who knows if Steve Perry could even sound like Steve Perry, but all you have to compare Pineda to are the recorded versions of Perry doing these songs years ago. It’s interesting to hear Arnel speak of it, because he says he is "keeping the legacy of The Voice alive", as though it were his divine purpose or duty. He carries the torch that was passed to him and he seems to understand the gravity well. He utilizes the spirit of The Voice in his own shows, now. 

As a performer, Arnel Pineda is very entertaining and enthusiastic. Every time he would jump from a platform or leap around stage, my sister and I would look at each other and frown, agreeing “THAT’S why Steve Perry can’t do it anymore!” Arnel Pineda seemed to have all the energy a youthful Perry may have had, with moves that Perry probably never pulled off himself. In a way, it’s an odd thing to witness, almost like Arnel Pineda opens his mouth and Steve Perry’s voice leaps out; Perry is The Voice and Pineda is The Voice Box? Or is The Voice itself a possession by the spirit of the thing, as the entity merely takes over to live out its own legacy? Who knows, but it’s admittedly, a little weird. But it’s not like Pineda is trying to sound like Perry, it doesn’t feel painful at all. It just happens to be that Pineda sounds like Perry and can imitate the sound even if the annunciations are off and he sometimes gets the words wrong. Those are just reminders that he is NOT The Voice, he is keeping the legacy of The Voice alive with his performance. Voices can sound a lot alike, but no two voices are truly exactly identical. Arnel Pineda, however, is a close facsimile to The Voice, close enough to gain the approval of arenas full of fans, and does he ever work the crowd. He is definitely a part of the band and a talented performer, not just a stand-in for Perry, even though it feels somewhat like the concert could open with that softly delivered soap opera line: "Tonight the part of Steve Perry will be being played by Arnel Pineda!"

It was wonderful to witness all the Journey hits you forget that they had, and every one was enjoyable to hear. Everything you’d want to hear was pretty much played.

Journey, Freedom, 2022

Neal Schon was a bit more jammy on the guitar than I'd remembered, but if you have listened to their newest album Freedom, all is well and it's not unlike his playing on other albums over the years, I have found. Freedom has an interesting feel to it. After all the time and changes, it still ends up sounding like classic Journey. Which makes sense, because Steve Perry never was the Journey. He just became the voice of Journey for a short time, and thus became The Voice. The Voice is only part of The Journey, you could say. So in the end, after all the changes the band has been through with its individual players, as a whole the band has remained true to itself somehow. They're still authentically within the spirit of the thing. I would say that is what defines a successful journey! It was a treat to experience them at this time in their careers. I also always enjoy seeing bands when they have recent releases. 

I ended up only recording snippets of the ballads, and all my videos are short; I was sending them in text messages to our sister who couldn't make it, so I was trying to keep the size down. Open Arms produced our own playful wave of arms, which was a memorable silly moment with family. There’s something to be said about the atmosphere of an arena, when people light up their phones during ballads, as well. These moments were neat to witness from so high up, having a very observational view of the place. It’s a new day and age, because the last time Steve Perry toured with Journey, it was a sea of lighters instead of phones. In my own lifetime alone we have witnessed concerts go from lighters to phones; it's a bit mind blowing. Some traditions never die, they just change throughout the journey.

Journey, Frontiers, 1983

Each song on this night was like an 80s memory, the rhythm and melody triggering scenes long passed, bubbling feelings to consciousness. My experience, a little more in the shallow end with the 80s being my first decade of life, was a more visceral and subconscious visitation. I didn't personally get into Journey until I was a teenager and bought their first Greatest Hits album. My mother, on the other hand, began to cry when they played “Send Her My Love” and for a brief moment in time it was 1983 again for her. I was a toddler, the age of my youngest child now, and she was a young mother of two, salving herself with Night Tracks music videos on TBS and spinning vinyl records. I vividly remember her Frontiers album,

Journey, Greatest Hits, 1988 

because it was one that I found visually interesting as a child, somewhat intimidating even with its glowing blue face artwork. It’s strange how certain songs unearth time capsules of emotion within you, sometimes pulling out feelings that you didn’t even remember having when you originally had them…that’s the power of music. It speaks to the subconscious. It’s a journey of continual self-discovery. In that way, you could sing my favorite Journey lyric direct to your memories: “I get the joy of rediscovering you!” Over and over and over again, music will always uncover the truth of your heart---faithfully.

Overall, Journey begs the question: “Can all things be replaced?" Is nothing sacred? Could a doppelganger really be a stand-in for the real thing? Yes. It happens all the time. It's happened twice with Journey alone. They replaced Perry with Steve Augeri who successfully sounded like Perry only to replace him later with Pineda who also sounds like Perry. The human voice is an amazing thing, but we are mockingbirds. Some people are talented enough to make their voices sound like anything. Some people just happen to have singing voices that sound like other voices, like Arnel. Elvis impersonators would be out of a job if they couldn't emulate The King successfully. Though, sounding like a voice and tapping into the spirit of the thing are two different things, I'd argue. Michael Cullipher, who I saw perform in Memphis at the cafe across from Graceland had Elvis' cousin saying how much he sounds like him! To the basic ear or those who simply want to be entertained, it happens all the time. Impersonators have always been around and the secret to a good impersonation is getting the voice down. 

Voices can sound convincingly alike and be hard to discern as it is, but now, the biggest impersonator of all is the AI voice technology coming out. Fake Drake is disturbing enough, but AI has even been used to make "Kurt Cobain" sing Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun. Is nothing sacred? There have been AI Beatles songs created?! You can't even really say created. They are generated, not created. Generated, mind you, using human creations, so I personally believe that AI is entirely based on the theft of humanity's intellectual property! It's sacrilege and I partially cannot even process my feelings while listening to these things. I am fearful of how AI will shape the world in general, but as far as music, will there come a time when authentic human voices in music will be rare? Grimes has already offered to split any royalties 50% with whoever uses her voice in AI songs. Is a voice your intellectual property? We essentially went through a similar change decades ago as the sounds of pianos and instruments began to be synthesized by machines, and it was widely accepted, so if this is no different, why does it seem so different? IS the human voice just another instrument or is it something more than that? It's hard to say where this all will go, but definite changes are coming in the industry as things get increasingly strange in the [music] world because of AI, but that's a whole other topic and post and once again, I digress.   

Voices are like fingerprints, though, unique to individuals. When you hear the voice of a dead loved one on a video or audio recording, it is somewhat of a holy experience, for they live again, ever so briefly, as their unique vocal signature vibrates out into your ears and the world once more. No one can replace that and the AI that recreates dead voices IS sacrilege, in my opinion. Sometimes hearing a voice recorded in time can take us back to different lifetimes inside of us. That can easily happen all the time with recorded music, but Arnel Pineda is doing the same thing for the Journey legacy as Michael Cullipher is doing for Graceland. It’s a wonderful way to visit the past and enjoy something that has been lost to time. It's not the real thing, per se, but it allows you to experience the spirit of the thing and at least it's human. There is also something to be said about keeping a legacy alive. It should only be undertaken by those that understand the gravity, like it’s their divine purpose and duty. Arnel Pineda apparently gets it. Sequined jumpsuits and all, Michael Cullipher absolutely gets it; I felt the spirit of the King while in Memphis and the spirit of Journey was certainly in the air tonight, oh wait, that's a whole different 80s song, isn't it? Ha. 

The finale was grand; I had heard about the confetti from a friend who experienced the tour at the end of last year. Our seats gave us a somewhat different experience of it, though. We experienced the confetti more vicariously, removed and from a distance. Confetti is meant to be experienced, but we more so watched the confetti experience, which was also an experience, albeit a somewhat removed one. From our heavenly seats it was interesting to be above the confetti instead of under it. Is that a metaphor? It feels like it. Something akin to the discipline of being the silent observer of one's thoughts, instead of being identified with the storm of voices, maybe? That's the real freedom tour. But in the same breath, if you never get under it, among the crowd and swim in the deluge of voices, you can't take a piece home like my friend did, either. Every seat in the house has its pros and cons. All in all, this was a very enjoyable concert experience and musing. The journey is always better if you can avoid the fall, but sometimes that's the price you pay to hear an old, familiar voice. What matters is what's left After the Fall, you could say. Okay, enough song references and metaphors. Final point, I enjoyed my somewhere-above-the-confetti, god's eye view of the 2023 Freedom Tour; Journey was well worth weathering the storm for---Toto too.   

Above the confetti.

     

Following the Gypsy Highway: Stevie Nicks at the Nikon at Jones Beach Theatre

STEVIE NICKS

Friday, June 29, 2012

Nikon at Jones Beach Theater

Wantagh, NY

THE TRUTH

I have been a Stevie Nicks fan since my early adolescence; I can’t exactly remember when I fell for her, but it was many moons ago, when her warm spiced drink of a voice first vibrated the bones and cartilage of my ears into submission.  I really got into Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks in my early teen years.  I was at a peak in my Fleetwood Mac craze in 1997 when their live album The Dance was released.  If that CD were a record, I would have worn through the vinyl; I listened to it so many times.  I greatly love Fleetwood Mac, but was also drawn into Stevie’s solo career, having always found a sort of solace in her voice and poetic imagery as well as her enigmatic and witchy iconography.  I remember listening to her Timespace album over and over in my room during high school, it was the first way I introduced myself to the majority of her work.  Luckily around that time her music was featured in Practical Magic and she was having a bit of a comeback of sorts.  I found Bella Donna, and so on and so forth until she was tied to my heart in a tight hormonal knot.  So for all of these reasons Stevie (Fleetwood Mac) was on my Bucket List.  I had to see her before I died!  Or she died!  I had to see her!  So in early 2012 when I heard that she was touring, I freaked.  I saw that she was touring with Rod Stewart for the Heart and Soul Tour, but I wanted to see Stevie alone.  I didn’t want to share her with anyone.  If she was sharing her stage time with anybody, I wanted it to be with Fleetwood Mac!  So I panicked, looking at the tour dates, and I found a couple of shows before she joined him where she was alone.  None all too close; I think I found three that were doable.  The beginning of the tour started in New York.  The Nikon at Jones Beach.  I could do that!  I franticly purchased tickets for my best friend, Hilary, and I for an epic drive and concert.  I realized it was 6 hours away...and right on the beach...and in LONG ISLAND!  At least, I THINK I realized these things at the time?  I purchased the tickets months beforehand and sat on the idea of having to drive that far and through the traffic I would have to in order to see Stevie.  I tried my best to remain Zen.    “Oh, I’m doing it.”  Finally, the day came.  It would be a journey of decently sized proportions to finally witness the live performance and essence of the woman whose music has been an emotional salve for me throughout much of my life.  In June of this year I traveled to see Stevie Nicks at the Nikon at Jones Beach Theater with my best good friend and it was “Bucket List Epic” in SO many ways! 

THE DRIVE

The drive to Long Island was basically insane and great, in a road-schooled, fight-or-flight, nervous-cool kind of way.  I had never driven through traffic like that in my life; I had never been on a 6 lane expressway as the driver in a vehicle before.  This entire trip was very symbolic of my growth and personal ability.  We were just a pair of best girls on an epic adventure, like Thelma and Louise, only hopefully not even remotely like Thelma and Louise, other than the car ride, and an added concert.  Maybe more like Gypsy 84?  Yeah, probably NOTHING like Gypsy 84, other than we were heading to see Stevie Nicks.  (Crazy movie; watch it if you haven’t.)  Best good pals...on a road trip to the big city beach venue to see a female rock and roll icon and put our feet in the water.  Instead of driving off of a cliff we were going to stand head to head with the ocean and look Stevie Nicks straight in the eyes.  Well, at least into her large sized eyes on the teleprompter.  This wasn’t just a concert; this was a journey of a lifetime.  No big deal. 

There really is no telling what can happen on a road trip adventure, so I kissed my child goodbye that morning and hoped to face this travel demon bravely and wisely.  I had a copy of printed directions and a Tom Tom, as well as a copilot; this would be fine!  It was only Hilary and I on this trip, the fate of the evening rested in our hands.  We were 6 hours away from the Nikon.  Would we see Stevie Nicks that night, or would our car plummet off of the George Washington Bridge?  There was no doubt in my mind that we would roll onto the beach, stand in the surf, and then view a momentous performance by Ms. Stevie Nicks as the sun sank into the sand.  Let’s went! 

Behind the wheel, I was on fire.  When faced with wild traffic and the expressways, I immediately went into the survival mode needed in order to traverse the roads with the city folk.  I had ridden into New York City and large cities before, although I had never driven into such an area myself until this point.  I wasn’t going INTO the city, but I was driving through the Bronx and heading at NYC and through it, on to the historical Long Island shore.  I made myself proud, real proud.  There were moments during this trip where I looked out at what I was driving through or past and I was taken back by the fact that I was commanding the vehicle.  “I’ll ride anywhere with you,” Hilary said upon our return.  We had survived tolls, city merges, The Bronx Expressway, a loop dee loop designed on acid.  I gained a lot of driving knowledge and experience on this trip.  It has prepared me for great things.  We arrived at Jones Beach on schedule.  We pulled into the Nikon elated with “GOAL” practically beaming out of my pupils and asked about gas, forgetting there were no service stations in the park.  We drove back into Long Island and got some gas for our home trip and bought lunch at an authentic Long Island deli before heading into Jones Beach for the evening of evenings.  I even made myself proud there, and we even talked to an authentic Long Islander that gave us directions to an excellent deli to eat at.  A sandwich and a drink and it’s back to the beach.

THE BEACH

The beach was centering; it was the calm before the storm, or afterwards, or the eye?  I’m not sure, it was something.  It seemingly took us forever to trudge through the sand, our shoes in hand, my camera dangling from my neck snapping pictures along the way.  It was a real in-the-moment moment.  The drive was the first leg of our journey, the first “battle”, our second was the ocean.  We were on a mission.  We had to get to that water.  It was the symbolic end of the drive.  GOAL!  Hilary had never touched the ocean before; she had seen it and been in the sand, although she had never submerged her feet into its lapping surf.  Its vastness is somewhat unnerving to her.  Understandably so, it’s as deep as the void, the metaphor is strong, but that’s another story and battle all together.  The prize was to sink our feet into that sand and let the tide pull away, burying our feet slowly; one of the best sensations in life.  I remember doing this as a child during our trips to the beach.  How could I describe to her how momentous this feeling was?  She simply had to experience it for herself.

Jones Beach was really neat.  You could see the Nikon across the Ocean Parkway in the distance while standing on the beach.  The sand felt amazing and we stood for what seemed like hours watching people swim and play, watching the waves come in and roll out, listening to the birds in the moment.  A part of the goal was accomplished.  We had made it there, at least!  We stood recharging ourselves in the wind of the waves for awhile.  Let’s roll on. 

THE NIKON

The Nikon is an impressive venue, a circus of sorts behind the gates.  There were booths and venders everywhere.  We purchased Zippo lighters from the Zippo booth; ironic, we travel all the way to New York and we buy Pennsylvania made Zippo lighters as souvenirs.  I also later got a Stevie Nicks t-shirt and magnet as swag.  The Nikon is an amphitheatre alongside the bay, open to the heavens.  The nosebleed section surely would have a bird’s eye view of the ocean, in this way I wondered if they could charge more for worse seats?  Ha!  We got yummy fruity drinks and then got settled in our seats and awaited Stevie.  We missed the opening act completely, but the timing was ultimately perfect, so who cares.  We were there for Stevie Nicks.   

THE STEVIE

Stevie is some kind of a musical goddess.  Ms. Nicks is truly everything she seems to be.  Not that I am biased but seriously if any one of you talks bad about Ms. Nicks I will backhand you with a vinyl copy of Bella Donna and choke you with a flowing scarf.  She was so very intimate with the audience and so emotional during her performance.  She had nice personal chats in between songs, talking to us like we were old friends.  She even started crying at the end during her “goodbye”.  She was conveying how important this night was to her, being the first night on her newly starting stretch of tour after weeks of battling voice problems.  The unconditional love and acceptance from her fans touched her in a way that we were able to experience first hand that night.  She honestly loves us.  

THE SETLIST

I was prepared for the setlist somewhat because I had familiarized myself with her 2011 setlist.  This was still the same tour, basically, promoting In Your Dreams, so I was so glad that I had done so because I was basically aware of every song that she would play for us that night, aside from their order and a few surprise covers.  I think she opened with Led Zeppelin’s Rock and Roll, followed by Enchanted, I believe.  We heard everything from Dreams, Gold Dust Woman, Landslide, Leather and Lace, Stand Back, Edge of Seventeen.  From her In Your Dreams album she played For What It’s Worth, which brought me to tears.  I had been waiting to hear that song and in a weird way, that's what this trip was all about, and I had a moment during its play under the moon light at the Nikon, 6+ hours from home...just me and my best good pal.  She also played from In Your Dreams: Soldier’s Angel, Secret Love, and Annabel Lee.  So many new songs, so many classics; so many songs that were so incredibly moving to experience live were performed beneath a gorgeous moon in a gentle wind.  This concert was the most emotional one I have ever been to in my life.  It was a triumphant, I-am-woman-hear-me-roar kind of feeling!  I cried and my heart pumped and I smiled and bounced.  Gold Dust Woman literally made my nipples hard.  Stevie Nicks totally gave me hard nips! Bless her darling heart!

THE ATMOSPHERE

It was a clear evening with crisp air and was slightly windy along the waterside.  The night air from the bay kept blowing up across the crowd, blowing up across Stevie Nicks.  Her hair and scarves and black flowing dress danced in its gusts like magic.  No hat for her on this night, for she surely would have lost it.  The wind blew her golden hair into her face continuously throughout the show, a shimmering air-made pyrotechnics show, making her all the more glorious and captivating.  The moon was ghostly and blanketed under a shroud of clouds.  We floated back to the car on a high that could never be relived, refelt, or recreated. 

THE VOICE

Her voice was like literal butter, melting down my ear canals and over my ear drum and inner bits like they were freshly popped corn kernels.  I couldn’t believe that I was hearing her voice in real time and not on a recording or on television.  I reflected on that fact and immediately my eyes welled up.  I had been listening to Stevie Nicks for so long.  It was a real life goal seeing her perform live, and she lived up to everything I made her out to be. It was amazing that she was having such problems with her voice because other than a few places, you couldn’t even detect flaw.  You wouldn’t even be able to tell she had no voice a few weeks prior.  She was obviously a little worried about it but carried on and she was marvelous.  I commend her for being so open and frank about her plight with the crowd and her love for everyone just seems so genuine and heartfelt.  She sounds just like herself, she sounds just like Stevie Nicks.  This, unfortunately, can not be said about everyone that you see live.  

THE DRESS

She dressed like a night gypsy, in her traditional flowing black shawls and scarves, with corsets and boots.  Toward the end of the performance she changed into a beautiful white ensemble.  During her performance of Stand Back she did the traditional spin, somehow managing not to fall in her huge platform boots.  She later said that the shawl was the original “Stand Back Shawl” from the video, I believe she meant.  I had been listening to this song hardcore for a week or more at the time and had hoped I would be able to hear it.  Later on the drive home it would be playing as I was speeding along the Bronx Expressway flowing with the night traffic. I was empowered in that moment.  Smiling to myself, I knew we would get home fine.  There were no worries in that moment.  I was driving home on the high of a major goal accomplished with my artistic vein pumping.  I was high on experience.

THE CONVERSATION

She carried on a conversation with the crowd like we were old friends, talking of things from years ago or preparing for this tour.  She was very emotional because of the height of the night; this was the first night of her new tour and her voice had given out a few weeks earlier.  She discussed her obstacles and her accomplishments, all in a tone that let you believe you could really be her pal.  She seemed like such an honestly cool woman, and she even commented on how she is remarkably like how she used to be before she became famous.  Her guitarist knew her back in the day before these days, and he plays with her now.  She said he can verify it.  Imagine, being friends with someone and then touring with them after they are a famous music icon. 

THE BAND

Her backup singers are made up of her sister-in-law and other women she has known for years.  Her guitarist she has known since before she was famous.  They all have a really good stage relationship.  The guitar is really great and the drummer was very enthusiastic.  They did an excellent job recreating her songs, especially considering the Fleetwood Mac ones were done without Lindsay Buckingham and her solo stuff was heavy on the synthesizer.  Stand Back was a good version and very fun, it sounded good, though obviously not like the original.  She spoke of how Prince came into the studio while they were recording it on her AXS Concert and laid down the synthesizer track and then disappeared.  Now two keyboardists can’t recreate what Prince did on that record.  But it was still a great attempt at recreation of the classics, and a wonderful show of the new stuff. 

THE GRACE

She was incredibly gracious with the audience, exiting the stage after the encore and the bow, but then coming back out to shake hands and greet all of the audience members in the front rows which is something that I had never seen before in a performance.  She was touching children and taking flowers.  There was a man by her side with his arm around her waste, lest she be swept away by a fan or the wind or fragility.  (Perhaps insurance against those boots?)  She was wonderful.  She was a lady and a true entertainer. 

THE LESSON

The drive home was rough, being that I left New York around 11PM and didn't get into native terrain until heading on 5:30.  After my copilot fell asleep I blasted Old Crow Medicine Show and sang to myself to keep myself awake.  There were some blurry eyed moments on the interstate but we rolled into town just as the sun was coming up.  I dropped off Hilary and went the long way home, stopping at the crossroads view to watch the freshly risen sun over the rolling hills of home.  I gathered myself and let what just transpired settle a little, and then headed on down the grove to put myself to sleep, a new woman.  This ride and concert brought out my inner feminine strength and was just what I needed at that moment in 2012!  "See, we don't need the guys.  We can go ANYWHERE!" Hilary stated.  True that!  It gave me an energetic burst that got me through more days of that year, and released a lot of emotion while giving some areas in my life a crystalline piece of closure.  It was kismet.  

The Control Spectrum: Nature's Dramamine

WHILE on the way home just now from Philly after Christal thanked me for letting her drive my car down I had a muse about car sickness.
Christal is an in control chick.  I'm not saying she has control issues, I'm just saying she is her most comfortable when in control of things.  I like that about her.  She also gets very car sick.  She thanked me because had she had to ride shot gun as I am or in the back of the car she would have become horribly ill.  She is okay or at best in a vehicle when driving and is doing an excellent job, I might add.  I thought about my sister and how she gets ill in cars as well.  I mused about myself.  I am not so bad, but I do tend to feel nauseous and unwell at times unless I am either A. Driving or B. Riding shot gun.  The back seat makes me sick.  I wondered if it could be a control issue.

I thought about the different powerful metaphors in the symbol of the vehicle.  Seeing it as a means of viewing reality, and a spectrum of control, I mused it was like this. 
While driving we are in control and at our best.  Christal is uneasy unless in the driver's seat.  She needs to create her circumstances and retain control of her vehicle to remain at ease.  I am the most at ease with controlling the vehicle, or with at least a driver's side view of the matter.  I can see what's coming at least and brace myself.  I am still at ease with this position on the spectrum.  The back seat, however, makes me uneasy.  I have been known to get head aches and feel nauseous and just basically out of sorts.  I'm not as okay with having vehicular blinders on, with not knowing what is coming at me or what I am heading towards.  I prefer to be aware, as opposed to back seat driving, following the chauffeur's intent, putting my full trust into their decisions and steering.  The chauffeur.  Who the hell is driving  this car anyway?

The more control we have over our situation the more at ease we feel.  But is the point to accept the lack of control?  If it is, then I fail.  Letting go, of anything, is one of the hardest tasks in the world.  We want to know, that we are either heading in the direction that we want, have hold of the reins, or at least are aware of where we are going.  It makes us physically ill to give up control and sit in the back seat, only aware of certain turns or attractions and able to see less of the road ahead.

But isn't that the point I'm always trying to make?  That we are to learn to accept chaos in all of its forms, to go with the flow of the river, limp through the air like a drunk thrown from their vehicle.  If you are slack and limp when you hit the ground you have a better chance of a soft landing.  We are not in control, but in a mutual free fall of sorts with our vehicle.  We are back seat driving off the cliff as I say. We need to let go and flow with the chaos.  This trip has taught me much. Sometimes you miss your exit and you have to move mountains to find your way home.  'If you never get lost, how will you ever find yourself?'

You're either the driver, the passenger or the back seat driver in life.  Perhaps there is a time to be each.  What seat do you prefer for the journey?  Are you okay with being lost?

Philadelphia Freedom!!

I am sitting here waiting for my snack, crackle, pop at the chiropractor with the family.  Celie is playing with toys at my feet actually being an angel tonight.  I'M SO GLAD.  I have to pack and prepare when we get back home for my LADIES TRIP to the 15th Annual Philadelphia Tattoo Arts Convention at the Pennsylvania Convention Center!!  An overnight adventure outing with grown ups!  Well, mostly. He he.  Just four girls hitting the road for an epic adventure and experience!

I haven't been out by myself for a very long time, and I can't remember if I have left Celie for this long with Joey before? Possibly once.  This is going to be the ultimate girls' night out, girls' day out, girls' trip out, party out, drink out, black out?! Let's hope not.  ....mostly.

I am traveling in the company of the fabulous Ms. Black List Tattoo herself and her entourage. We are the entourage!  Woo!  She will be having her unique new head tattoo judged in one of the categories at the convention.  It's a big deal!!!  We are pretty psyched.  We got a room only a few blocks away.  It should be a good time.

Back home now and I have everything pretty much packed and ready.  Throwing a load of my pants in the dryer for morning then heading to bed.  Big day tomorrow!  I am anxious for some kid free social time!!  We leave at 7:45.  Let's do this!! 

H.H. The Dalai Lama: "So I Got THAT Goin' For Me!"

10-11-12

H.H. The Dalai Lama 

nTelos Wireless Pavilion

Charlottesville, Virginia

On October 11th of this year I was lucky enough to be able to witness His Holiness the 14^th Dalai Lama speak in Charlottesville, Virginia.  This was a significant trip for me, some 5 hours away, but it was incredibly worth it and was one of the greatest experiences of my life, one of the few that I consider “Bucket List Epic”.  It was a wonderful day and an amazing honor to be in the presence of a man who could be considered a true holy man of our time.  I was asked by a friend to accompany him on this journey, and I am very grateful that I was.  Our day of travel became a wonderful experience as well as a spiritual pilgrimage road trip, of sorts. 

Signage for the Dalai Lama on the Downtown Mall

In case you are unaware, the 14^th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is the spiritual and political leader to the Tibetan people.  He is the head monk of the Gelugpa lineage of Tibetan Buddhism.  He is a simple monk whom many believe to be the reincarnation of the Buddha himself.  The Dalai Lama, however, claims to be nothing more than another human like you or I.  This is, however, untrue, because he is quite a remarkable human being even if he isn’t the reincarnation of the founder of Buddhism.  He was chosen to be the Dalai Lama at the age of 4 and now at the age of 77, has been living in exile in India since the age of 15 after Tibet was seized by China in 1951.  I have always found the Dalai Lama to be an incredibly fascinating man.  I’ve obviously been intrigued by him because of my interest in Buddhism, but regardless of his religious views; he is filled with wisdom for living a compassionate life based on kindness and tolerance.  Seeing him speak was a remarkable event in my life. 

Crossing into nTelos Wireless Pavilion Land

After arriving in Charlottesville and finding a space on the top level of the parking garage we made our way to the Downtown Mall.  This area of Charlottesville is very amazing.  It’s a gorgeous street without vehicle traffic that is lined by shops, restaurants and museums.  There are huge trees going down the center of the street, which are apparently rather old, I would guess some of them to be 75 to 100 years in age.    There was only one gate into the pavilion so there was quite a long line leading up to the entrance.  The Dalai Lama is guarded by the Secret Service while in the States so we were given the ol’ wand swipe and pocket search on our way in.  We made a pilgrimage walk of sorts from the car through this beautiful downtown area to the nTelos Wireless Pavilion where we would see the man some deem to be a prophet, a holy man, and a great political and spiritual leader.  The Dalai Lama means something different to everyone, but regardless of religious background, to most who know of him, he brings forth the idea of compassion.  His newest book Beyond Religion:  Ethics for a Whole World was on sale and we both purchased a copy, as it was the focus of the Lama’s speech on this day.

Post speaking, under the Pavilion, we were seated to the right in the white chairs.

Our view, although obscured by the heads of those in front of us, was actually not that bad considering the seats were considered to have an "obstructed view".  Our seats were relatively close and it was exciting to think we were in such close proximity to His Holiness, even if he is just a man.  After getting seated we enjoyed the cultural performances that were presented to us before the DL’s arrival.  There was some interesting Native American dancing being done in different styles by women and then came a chief with some “wonderful plumage” who would later present the Dalai Lama with a handmade necklace.  At the end of the performance all of the dancers joined each other on stage to move in their own style in a dance that they dedicated to all Mothers and others, including all those Native American warriors that had fallen. 

The Wall on the Mall, filled with messages in chalk.

After this there was a performance by a Tibetan folk artist living in exile named Techung.  I really enjoyed this part of the event.  Techung used different Tibetan instruments; he started out with a song on a flute and then performed another on an instrument that is a Tibetan fiddle of sorts.  He positioned this on his leg as he used a bow to play it.  It was beautiful.  Techung announced that one song was arranged using the poetry of a woman on house arrest.  I wish that I could have understood her words as they were sung, although one phrase was repeated in English, “on the road again.”  I found it quite enjoyable. 

And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.  The woman moderator announced H.H. the Dalai Lama!  This was quite thrilling; I had a smile fixed for quite a few rounds of standing ovations and my eyes welled up with a light film of tears in excitement as I saw him before me in his traditional monk garb and greatness.  The man who I had accompanied had been trying to see the Dalai Lama speak for years at this point in his life.  His face was adorned with a grand grin of happiness as he stood clapping beside me with his eyes fixed.  It was a life goal for him that he fulfilled on that day.  Bucket list epic.

After being announced and seated, the Dalai Lama was presented with a performance from a group of third generation American Tibetan children.  He was then presented a handmade necklace by the Native American dancer with the beautiful plumage.  The necklace had an Om symbol on it, and the Lama laughed and joked, pointing out how it was a Hindu symbol even, and not Buddhist.  He wore the gift around his neck the rest of the time proudly. 

"Practice Thinking!"

 It wasn’t surprising that the Dalai Lama’s speech was centered on compassion, as this is his newest book’s main message as well as his most fundamental message as a spiritual icon; when we think of the Dalai Lama we think of compassion.  One of the first things I remember him saying was him addressing us as “brothers and sisters” and saying how he believes it is important to view everyone as such, stating that we are all the same.  A notable message in his speech was that of motherly love.  He said that a strong bond and sense of love from the mother creates a strong and loving person, and if there was a rift or problem in that relationship there was fear in the heart of the individual.  He spoke of trust and how it is the most important factor in any relationship.  He said once that trust is broken it is very hard to attain again.

We left our marks on the wall.

His Holiness also spoke of morals and ethics and how these things should be upheld in humanity regardless of ones religious beliefs.  All religions, he said, are focused on the similar key concepts of compassion, love and tolerance.  He spoke of religious tolerance and his view of secularism as well as his belief that morals and ethics “beyond religion” should be taught in schools. This comment got a roaring applause of agreement from the audience.  The concepts he mentioned and his delivery were momentous and it was interesting how it takes the words of such a wise man to point out the obvious to society.  It seems that his teachings chime with something deep inside of every human, they speak to a common thread we all share.  That’s the point of being wise, I suppose.  You see what others can’t see, or simply don’t see.  Again, it’s all about perspective.  It is hard to believe that all people don’t believe these teachings or feel them in their being.  In our hearts, I believe that we do.  This is what the Dalai Lama reminds us of, this is what his iconography stands for.  He is an immense outward symbol of our brotherly and sisterly love.  He is the physical manifestation of our collective human heart.  He is a true holy man. 

- MS

SOURCES:

10 Questions For the Dalai Lama

H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama (http://www.dalailama.com)

The Dalai Lama in Charlottesville, Virginia, October 11, 2012

Caddyshack ("So I got THAT goin' for me!")