In December of 2013 I attended a
house concert, my very first, at the Oak Mountain Hideaway House, which is
actually just over the river and through the woods from my home.
This was a delightful and highly meaningful experience
for me, one that I will (God willing) always remember that has taught me a
valid life lesson, in all actuality, maybe a few of them.
The atmosphere was chill, the hosts were warm
and accepting, the house was lovely, and the talent was AMAZING!
My first house concert experience was with
Mr. Ben Taylor, son of musical legends James Taylor and Carly Simon.
YES!! Conceived of the sperm of JAMES TAYLOR
and birthed out of the vagina of CARLY SIMON!!
I watched him perform in a living room, in front of a grand fireplace
complete with Christmas décor.
I also was
fortunate enough to meet him afterward and perform a song for the man on the
guitar that he played that night, which blew me away and almost brought on a
panic attack all at the same time.
It
was like meeting the son of gods; it was like having a conversation with
Hercules??!
Okay, I am well aware that
he is just a man, but aside from his amazing music, he’s my type of
people.
As it were, it was a night of
music, listening and lessons.
Upon arriving at that house concert
I had never heard any of Ben Taylor’s songs, so I had a completely open mind
and blank canvas to accept the strokes of his brushing artistry, or finger picking,
beep booping sound box wizardry, what have you.
His music is an interesting mix of impressive finger picking with a
touch of pop and some beat box mashing sprinkled on it.
He performed mixes, including his mash up song "Fire and Vain" created using
two of his parents' most popular songs.
He did
a cover of his father’s, but more importantly he thoroughly introduced you to
his style of music in a very intimate way.
Declaring himself an honorary member of the “S.S.S.” club, meaning the sensitive
singer/songwriters, he told stories and explained himself in a very personal
and down to earth way.
His music is
inviting and thought provoking.
This
man’s a thinker, that is obvious right away.
His newest album “Listening” had recently been released and we heard
tracks from it.
I sat on the stairs in
this magnificent living room, with a perfect view of him at work.
It was like being on the set of
Storytellers.
After his sets I was left
with the feeling that I actually got to know the man, although this was nothing
compared to my experience later on in the evening.
After enjoying snacks and wine while mingling around the
place, we ended up approaching Ben once he had settled onto a bright red futon in
the basement after giving autographs upstairs for awhile.
At the time, Ben was in the midst of a
conversation with a woman I will refer to as E.
E and Ben were talking about a dream that she had at some point in her
life about a light house and being somewhere lost in time, one in which she
felt held significance and a connection to Ben for some reason.
Ben now wore a huge, mesmerizing ring on his
right hand that he fiddled with.
His
report with the woman was open and frank, reflective and not dismissive at
all.
She was explaining that she sensed
a connection between the two of them, something to do with the lighthouse
dream.
I was sitting right beside him on
the futon now, following their conversation, just listening and waiting to continue
speaking to him.
We had introduced
ourselves already but E trailed on and I don’t like to interrupt a good
conversation, hell, even a bad one.
He
described life as a series of “harmonic blips”.
So many songs [lives], he said, were similar with the same harmonic
blips.
And sometimes it recognizes a
harmonic blip in another song [life].
Can a blip of oneness create or clone itself or something like that, he
mused.
Can it?
He said to E to recognize it for what it
was---a harmonic blip in time in these bubbles of oneness that we are.
Profound.
Even more profound hearing the actual conversation, I'm afraid my memory isn’t the
best of story tellers.
At the end of
their conversation I remember him saying “What do you want me to do about
it?
Should I write a song about it?”
He also referenced an episode of South
Park.
“That reminds me of that one episode of South
Park
...write a poem, mmkay?? Make you feel better, mmkay??”
Harmonic blips, bubbles of Oneness and South
Park.
Oh, yeah.
My kind of people. When speaking of life and the soul, and how we all hailed from Oneness he said "I don't know what seduced me out of Oneness and into form...[but] I’m not afraid to die because I know that I will go back
to that Oneness.
My only fear is that I
won’t be able to feel or create or write or express [in that state]...”
Sitting around musing how linear time is just a created illusion and discussing life after death...my kind of people.
At some point while we were all sitting around him my father mentioned that I play the guitar, which mildly embarrassed me but I’m
grateful that he did it now. When asked,
I replied that I dabble. I mean,
seriously, this is James fucking Taylor’s
son. I dabble, I dabble! I basically am a monkey playing with a
coconut and a string compared to this man, his father and his mother. He jumped up eagerly and retrieved his guitar
out of the case, the guitar he played that night that appeared to be ancient
and well loved, worn in, abused, even.
Like it had grown into Ben somehow at that point, it was THAT well
used. Most of the time I honestly held
that thing gawking at it in awe, clutching it to me like the bouquet awarded to
the queen of the prom! It was
beautifully scratched and dinged, like an ancient musical artifact. I remember sitting there wondering in the
moment if James Taylor had ever possibly picked up this guitar of Ben’s while
jamming at his parent’s house or something?
It was a little overwhelming to think about. The whole thing still remains somewhat
surreal to me, while also being one of the realest moments of my life. But
there I was, sitting there holding this artifact guitar in front of Ben Taylor
and a handful of strangers. I wasn’t
prepared for this, I was trying not to fall into a panic attack right
there. Luckily there was wine! I had my sister grab me another drink. Ben pretty much demanded that I play him a
song. So I did.
I ended up chicken shit, and all I could muster up was the most nervous rendition of a cover
that I could do. Honestly, it was more a severe case of Swiss cheese brain. I couldn't even remember my own songs in that moment, at least not enough to make it through an entire song. So I went with an automatic cover, which turned out fine. Everyone sang along,
including Ben, so that was fabulous, but it was rather embarrassing that I just
couldn’t recall one of my original songs to play for him, especially when he specifically
asked me to play something that I wrote after I played the song that I did. (KNOW THYSELF!!) "Discipline!" Ben Taylor said. This is when I realized I needed a much more
intimate relationship with my own work...and also to grow a big dangly set of
balls. It was pretty pathetic in a way,
but in the end, I’m glad I didn’t play anymore, because the true theme of the
evening was his last album’s title...”Listening.” There were many magical words of wisdom
spoken that night, and to think I would have missed out on them had I broke
into a song, had I been cocky about myself, or overly eager to impress the
man. Instead, I mostly listened. At this point, I held his guitar like it was
a newborn. I fondled it and fiddled
around on the strings, but didn’t start into song. I was listening to everyone else. We had a good conversation going, why
interrupt it with Ego? My Spirit was
drawn to listen.
It was while holding that guitar that Ben Taylor bestowed
some of the best advice onto me. He
critiqued my playing, which was awesome. He told me that my pocket was good and was apparently impressed because for being a man that seemed rather in
touch with his feminine side (in the sense of spiritual balance) he explained
that was ONE thing he was sexist about; he thinks that men are better with
their strumming hands, better at holding the rhythm. But he wasn’t mentioning this in a derogatory
way, he was complimenting me. He said my
left hand was good also, but my right was notably better. So that was pretty sweet, having Ben Taylor
basically tell me I have good rhythm, even for a girl. We then listened as another girl that was there cradled the guitar as she crooned out an a Capella song that she had wrote herself. We all tried to convince her to just learn to play. "A little DISCIPLINE!" Ben said this a couple of times that night. Indeed.
This experience has taught me about the value of listening, to others as well as to myself. It has given me the drive to listen to my own story, my own music. It helped me to see that I should take myself more seriously as a singer/songwriter, even if it is just for fun because it is expression. Simply because I am a bubble of oneness expressing itself with my own harmonic blips. I have so many songs because I am simply compelled to compose them. So then I write these things out as I am compelled and I won't revisit them enough to actually hear what I am even saying. I have since this experience started to have my songs recorded, the songs that I couldn't remember in that anxious moment with Ben. In recording my own music, I have been able to revisit each song and get to know it in an intimate way again. I get the chance to actually LISTEN to myself. I learned a wonderful lesson from Ben about the value of being an artist, the discipline it takes, and the art of listening. So, thank you, Ben Taylor, for the wonderful experience, thank you for your impromptu critique, and more importantly...thank you for listening.
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| Me playing for Ben Taylor at the Oak Mountain Hideaway |
Body Prayers: Finding Body Peace by Rebecca Radcliffe is a short little book about body image and self-worth. It deals with denying the societal pressure to base your self-esteem on your personal appearance while also accepting and loving your body. It's written in an interesting format and is a little cheesy but was still an inspiring read.
