I haven’t blogged anything in too long. It’s not like I haven’t been writing, I suppose I just haven’t been in the mood to blog. I wrote some words on the inescapable pull of the Oatmeal Crème Pie. I wrote a song while my Pap was in ICU in the hospital. I’ve been here. But I’ve been gone.
What I would like to discuss now is my daughter. She turned 18 months old on Sunday. 18 fucking months old. That’s a year and a half for those who are math challenged (me). What have I learned in 18 months of mothering? Oh, let’s make this more fun than sentimental waxing mama and I’ll give the touchy feely a proper blog. Top 10 Things I Learned in my First Year and a Half as a Mother…GO!
Top 10 Things I Learned in my First Year and a Half as a Mother…
10. “Babies aren’t as fun as they look!” - Boyd Lucas
9. Breastfeeding a tongue-tied baby is more exhausting than the pushing stage of labor!
8. Eventually bodily fluids are of little consequence; you learn to not care what is stuck to or smeared on you or what you are elbow deep in.
7. In a pinch, a Carmex tube can successfully be used as a spoon at a Beatlemania concert.
6. Nothing is leak proof, spill proof, or resistant to anything. Everything they tell you is a lie.
5. Your guess is as good as “theirs”. Who the hell are “they” anyway?
4. After kids learn to walk, pictures start turning out a lot worse and are more of a chore and test of patience .
- Once talking starts you find out what your favorite “catch phrases” are and training yourself to remove swear words from your vocabulary is harder than you think.
- Distraction is your best friend if you ever want to accomplish anything ever again in your life once toddlerhood hits.
1. It gets better and worse every day. ;D
All in fun, but serious just the same,