Thursday, March 10, 2016

When Similarities are Trumped by Differences

I have something to put out there about this election season and how divisive it inherently is. I just noticed today that I was unfriended on FakeBook by a man that I have been fake friends with for maybe two years, now? I thought it was odd, and of course when this happens we always wonder why and ask ourselves "Did I offend?" and we question the motives of the person. We all know how hard it is to "un-see" people's political views once they come out, and we all know that it changes the way that we feel about them, whether we want to judge them or not. Actually, this guy has been fairly "offensive" if you want to talk about what people are normally offended by, but I tried to not judge him as such. Ironically, though, I believe that I have just been judged??

The Unfriend is fairly educated, a student of musical production, unfortunately, he suffers from PTSD, and has, according to posts, persevered over the past 4 years while surrendering his negative thoughts and feelings, or so he states. I actually have benefited from his struggles and his candid posts on the subject of mental health and spiritual surrender. It was because of him that I finally acknowledged my own mild PTSD. He's led me to some good resources and helpful information. He's kinda out there, but truth be told, so am I, and I always wished him well and sent good vibes. His psyche seemed rather fragmented, just like my own, and I think I was interested in how he dealt with these parts of himself. I had an interesting view of his life because I didn't know him at all, but I could witness all of these different parts of his personality as they were reacting to social media. It has been interesting and informative to say the least.

Truth be told, he shares a ton of anti-Obama articles and conspiracy theory posts. I still never got offended and didn't think of unfriending him because he also shared a lot of helpful and positive things; I didn't write off anything he posted as untruths, just different views and perspectives, which are important to expose yourself to, right? In the same breath, I didn't read all of his articles, though, because I found them fairly absurd. So I guess I judged them all along, didn't I? Facebook is filled with opposing views especially during election season, which brings me to the issue at hand. The Unfriend has a lot of valid points and stances, at times, but there was so much Ego, I felt, still in his so-called "spiritual" journey whether he realized it or not. (Mirror mirror, I too, struggle with ego). And I'm sure that he thought me rather pseudo-spiritual because I post a lot of Elephant Journal articles. In a post a year or so back he bashed the site, stating he knew more about something or other, though, he never commented on anything I ever shared from them. I understand Elephant Journal is not a scientific source, and mostly share things because I enjoy the writing styles, it's something I strive toward in my own writing, and I like the viewpoints and ideas. He, on the other hand, would randomly and frequently fight with trolls and you could witness his PTSD getting triggered by certain things. I literally saw different parts of his psyche because of their distinct differences and his over-sharing, I could tell different sides of him were posting certain things. He honestly has an altruistic part, I believe. Which, in parts therapy, would mean I could see his real Self through the parts of ego. Perhaps I had an affinity towards this stranger because I found him psychologically interesting and helpful because of my own struggles. I should note, that I have never actually talked to this man. No private messaging, ever. I just let him be and observed. We have only ever communicated via a few comments here and there on each other's posts. I don't really know him at all and yet I got to know him fairly well. Isn't that how Facebook works? I point? I don't really have one, it just kinda stems from a political issue. This is not a political post...don't attack me. But here it is...

This man was/is a Trump supporter. I questioned this, I pondered. My judgmental side wondered how someone that seemed to have such a positive altruistic side could ever think that Trump was a good candidate for president? At first I thought he was joking? My judgmental side wondered how? But matter how absurd I thought it was...I never deleted him. It's his right. I tried not to judge him solely on his political views, but rather on his personality as a whole. Until, I noticed that I didn't see his plethora of posts coming through my feed. I tend to steer clear of political posts, but the unfriending coincidentally occurred after I actually shared three or so very mild anti-Trump posts...but I'm sure I liked quite a few others that showed up in his feed for him to see, thanks to how Facebook works. So, I can only deduce that this is the reason for the unfriending, but I have no proof. Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions here, but probably not. Nothing separates us quite as much as politics separates us, except for religion and maybe even sports. Anything that divides us as a people, in my opinion, is counterintuitive to what society as a whole really needs. I strive to remain open-minded and thought that even following a person with contrasting views showed it. Maybe I was interested in what motivated someone to think Donald Trump should be president? I recently read an article that helped me understand the thinking of Trump supporters. It made much sense and this man fit the criteria. He is very afraid, and very anti-Muslim. (Looking back, I ask myself why I wasn't the one to do the unfriending, actually?) I can't help, though, that learning which candidates people support influences my opinion of them? I guess neither can he? I guess neither can any of us. How many fights and arguments take place on Facebook over politics? Probably a ton, your guess is as good as mine...just like your opinion.

I don't even share a lot of political things and haven't until recently, which is why I'm assuming that this was the "problem". If this is all it sharing Trump explaining the answer to 2+2 and a Someecard that I tagged my mother in about life on Mars being reassuring in light of a possible Trump presidency, and the actual ironic definition of "trumpery", then, by all means...unfriend away, because you are obviously thinking inside of your closed, judgmental box. You're loss, mate. I might still judge, we are kind of designed for it, but I at least try to peer out of my own box area and look into the boxes of others, I try to examine what my judgements mean about my thinking. I understand that everyone has a box, some stand beside, some sit right smack dab in the middle of it, unyielding, afraid, and close-minded. I've chosen to squash mine flat and just burn the cardboard. That's how I try to live, not outside of the box, per se, but outside of the belief that there actually is a box. The box is an illusion. So, I have been a democrat? A socialist? A logical person? I'll never know, but I understand where he would want to unfriend me. I mean, people say Trump is a bully and ignorant but me liking memes where he is made fun of, really isn't any better is it? Energetically speaking, I mean, I should be hash tagging #feelthebern instead of bashing what I don't want, right? If I'm going to do anything, it should be supporting what I do want and not drawing focus to what we ultimately don't want. So if you don't want Trump for president...don't spread the word. Don't buy into the trumpery and bash the bully. Ignore the bully, like they tell the children on the playground. Focus on a different possibility. Focus on what you DO want. Spirituality has taught me that energy flows where attention goes. So has physics; the observer changes the experiment. So I see the flaw in what I have done, but he wasn't exactly coming from the same place with all of his Obama bashing and it was honestly hard to witness at times, so this is really for the best. Your social connections should be with like-minded people. While we had some similarities, in the end, they were trumped by our differences. Literally.

For the record, I am allowed to think that The Donald is an idiot, just like you are allowed to think that Obama is a shitty president. It's our difference in opinions that makes life interesting and we can learn a lot when faced to explore what things in other people trigger us. I wish this man well in his mental struggles and with life and his's been an interesting few years. It's not really a loss, all in a day, but I'm left examining the "friendship" and trying to find the lessons that I have learned from him, as I do with every person that crosses my path. We are all mirrors for each other. I believe that there is always a reason that people enter our lives, and if you can surrender your ego, you can be guided to see it. I believe that Unfriend has taught me to voice my opinions, no matter how foolish or unpopular because they are mine and it is my right. He has taught me to be aware of places where I still give in to my Ego and don't surrender things myself. He has also shown, by demonstrating his "parts" via extraneous posts, that Internal Family Systems Therapy is real. Ironically, he also taught me that when we are energetically attacked (or bullied) that we don't want to send that energy back from whence it came and buy into the charade. We want to send back unconditional love. This has helped me in my life. He has helped me, so it's a shame that he ended up being such a close-minded twat. That's how lessons work, though; we don't always need to sit and hang out with the teacher after class if over. Just walk away. Just go home. Lesson learned. We want to focus on the good, the possibilities. He mirrored to me my own over-sharing, as well, and taught me that it is important to hold some things back. It's important to know when to put it out there and when to keep it to yourself. Maybe, he served his purpose in my life and he was essentially just there to teach me about my own PTSD and "out there" spiritual beliefs. And ego, don't forget ego. Ego, is essentially, what unfriended me over Donald Trump. Awww, but ain't that America? Thank you, Unfriend. You have taught me some good lessons and it has been unreal. 

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